Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
"What can men do against such reckless hate?"
If only I had an Aragorn and Theoden to ride out and meet the dawn.
I try to live in the present—try not to worry overmuch about the future, or obsess over the past. I can only do what I am doing right now, in the present, and trust that the future will be a better place for my actions.
Yesterday, I did not let the anxiety of what could happen overwhelm me. Yesterday, I was hopeful that the light would outshine the dark. Yesterday, I couldn't imagine hatred and ignorance overcoming a country that in the past few years alone has made such great strides towards a brighter future.
Today I am crying. Weeping is a better word.
Because my candidate lost the election? I am more disappointed than I can describe that we as a country chose to go backward rather than forward. But the tears are for more than just a losing race. My tears are for an America who broke my heart.
This election went far beyond just the differences of political opinion. A difference of opinion I can handle. This election represented the deeper questions of where America morally stands. The existence of evil is not something I ignore; I am not so naive. But the idea that evil has such a following is what has shaken me to my core.
Today I am soul-sick, and it is hard to feel the hope of love. I believed that America was, at its heart, good. I believed—believe—that love is stronger than hate.
Today it feels as if evil has won—not just a candidate with whom I disagree politically. Racism, oppression, ignorance, violence, hatred, harassment, sexism, fear...Today, it feels as if these are the values with which America has aligned.
This will never be my America.
I know I am not alone, but today I feel as if I am. Swallowed, alone and small, by a spreading darkness. Outnumbered by the fear of change, the lust for violence instead of peaceful strength.
This is my present, the today I must face. I will let myself have today to cry at the blow to my faith in humanity. But tomorrow it will be the past, and only my actions going forward can hope to guide things right once more.
"No matter how dark the times we must face reality & quietly work for the common good & collective evolution with love and compassion." -Deepak Chopra
So tomorrow, I will have had enough of tears. Tomorrow, I will breathe and move forward with any courage I can muster in the face of this storm. Tomorrow, I will remember that four years is not so long, and that I AM NOT ALONE in the dark. I am not a person who is defeated easily. No matter the force of hate, the force of evil; it can never change that I know what I stand for, what I fight for. LOVE is stronger, KINDNESS will always be my answer. Light will drive out darkness.
Always stay high, no matter how low they go, and we will weather this storm.
And for when I have to retreat to the realms of Middle Earth, Terre D'Ange, Westeros, and Sevenwaters, or take comfort spending time with Kvothe, Feyre, Kaz, Harry, and countless others in order to push through each new present, I thank the like-minded authors who gave them to us. For the escape you provide, thank you, a million times over.